Best Hilarious Shrek Quotes

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Shrek is one of the most iconic characters in the history of animated movies. And he has delivered some really hilarious lines, hope that will be your best choice for enjoyment and always keep smiling with those quotes.

Shrek is an American computer-animated comedy film based on the 1990 fairytale picture book of the same name by William Steig. The film directed by Andrew Adamson and Vicky Jenson in their directorial debuts, it stars Mike Myers, Eddie Murphy, Cameron Diaz and John Lithgow as the voices of the lead characters.

In the story, an ogre called Shrek finds his swamp overrun by fairy tale creatures who have been banished by the corrupt Lord Farquaad aspiring to be king. Shrek makes a deal with Farquaad to regain control of his swamp in return for rescuing Princess Fiona from a dragon, whom Farquaad intends to marry. With the help of Donkey, Shrek embarks on his quest but soon falls in love with the princess, who is hiding a secret that will change his life forever.

The film released on April 22, 2001 (Mann Village Theatre) and May 18, 2001 (United States). The film was a most successful animated film. Shrek has four sequels and the fifth film of the series can be released in future.


“Do You Think He’s Maybe Compensating for Something?”— Shrek

“Actually, It’s Quite Good On Toast.”— Shrek

“Donkey, You Have the Right to Remain Silent. What You Lack Is the Capacity.” — Shrek

“Well, That’s Not Very Nice. It’s Just a Donkey.” — Shrek

“That’ll Do, Donkey. That’ll Do.” — Shrek

“Ogres are like onions.” — Shrek

“There’s a stack of freshly made waffles in the middle of the forest! Don’t you find that a wee bit suspicious?”— Shrek

“Look at him in his wee ill boots! Y’know, how many cats can wear boots? Honestly?” — Shrek

“It’s time to pack up your toothbrush and jammies. You’re the new king of Far Away.” — Shrek

“What are you doing in my swamp!?” — Shrek

“I’m an ogre! You know, ‘Grab your torch and pitchforks!’ Doesn’t that bother you?” — Shrek

“Someday, I will repay you. Unless, of course, I can’t find you or if I forget.” — Shrek

“It’s on my to-do list!” — Shrek

“A cute, button nose? Thick, wavy locks? Taut, round buttocks?” — Shrek

“You’re going the right way for a smacked bottom.” — Shrek

“All right, nobody moves! I’ve got a dragon and I’m not afraid to use it. I’m a donkey on the edge.” — Shrek

“Blue flower, red thorns. Man, this would be so much easier if I wasn’t color-blind!” — Shrek

“Don’t mess with me. I’m the stair master.” — Shrek

“For your information, there’s a lot more to ogres than people think.” — Shrek

“I ain’t gonna lie, you are ugly. But you only look like this at night, Shrek’s ugly 24/7.” — Shrek

“I don’t have any toes! I think I need a hug.” — Shrek

“I know you probably hear this all the time from your food, but you must bleach or something ’cause that’s one dazzling smile you got there!” — Shrek

“I used to be afraid of the dark until… No, wait. I’m still afraid of the dark.” — Shrek

“I’m not a puppet! I’m a real boy!” — Shrek

“It is lovely! You know, you’re really quite a decorator.” — Shrek

“Look at that. Who’d wanna live in a place like that?” — Shrek

“No! Layers! Onions have layers. OGRES have layers. Onions have layers… you get it. We both have layers.” — Shrek

“Now hand over that big rock, the one that looks like your head.” — Shrek

“Oh, for the love of Pete!” — Shrek

“Parfaits are delicious!” — Shrek

“Parfaits may probably be the most delicious thing on the whole dang planet!” — Shrek

“Some of you may die, but that is a sacrifice I am willing to make.” — Shrek

“That’s right fool! Now I’m a flying talking donkey!” — Shrek

“We can stay up late, swapping manly stories, and in the morning, I’m making waffles!” — Shrek

“Well, I have a bit of a confession to make: donkeys don’t have layers. We were our fear right there on our sleeves.” — Shrek

“Why are you following me?” — Shrek

“Wow! Only a true friend would be that cruelly honest.” — Shrek

“Yeah, right before they burst into flame.” — Shrek

“You go in there and tell her how you feel.” — Shrek


“You might have seen a housefly, maybe even a superbly, but I bet you ain’t never seen a donkey fly!” — Shrek

“Here is a look at some of the most popular and entertaining Shrek quotes as they are cited by these students.” — Shrek

“Oh this is another one of does onion things isn’t.”—Donkey

“Hey, come back there. I’m not through with you yet.”—Donkey

“Well, I’m through with you.” — Shrek

“Uh-uh. You know, with you it’s always, “Me, me, me!” Well, guess that! Now it’s my turn! So you just shut up and pay attention! You’re mean to me. You insult me and you don’t appreciate anything that I do! You’re always pushing me around or pushing me away.”—Donkey

“Oh yeah? Well, if I treated you so bad, how come you came back?” — Shrek

“Because that’s what friends do! They forgive each other!”—Donkey

“Oh yeah, you’re right, Donkey. I forgive you… For stabbing me in the back!”— Shrek

“Can I say something to you? Listen, you were really, really something back there. Incredible!”—Donkey

“Are you talking to… me?” — Shrek

“Yes, I was talking to you. Can I tell you was great back there? Those guards! They thought they was all of that. Then you showed up, and bam! They were tripping over themselves like babes in the woods. That’s really made me feel good to see that.”—Donkey

“Oh, that’s great. Really.” — Shrek

“Man, it’s good to be free.”—Donkey

“Now, why don’t you go to celebrate your freedom with your own friends? Hmm?” — Shrek

“But, uh, I don’t have any friends. And I’m not going out there by myself.”—Donkey

“If that was me, you’d be dead.” — Shrek

“sometimes, things are more than they appear.” — Shrek

“You know Donkey, sometimes things are more than they appear.” — Shrek

“I like that boulder. That is a nice boulder.”—Donkey

“This is the part where you run away.” — Shrek

“Bachelorette number two is Snow White. She may live with seven men but she ain’t easy.”—Princess Fiona

“In the morning, I’m making waffles.”—Donkey

“(looks at Farquaad’s very large castle) Gee, you think he’s compensating for something?” — Shrek

“Princess Fiona: There’s an arrow in your butt.”—Princess Fiona

“I bet you have never seen a donkey fly!”—Donkey

“I’ll stick with you!”—Donkey

“Are you Princess Fiona?” — Shrek

“What’s the matter? You got something’ in your eye?”—Donkey


“She called me a noble steed.”—Donkey

“You, uh… you don’t entertain much, do you?”—Donkey

“Mwahahahahahaha! ”—Lord Farquaad

“You know, I do too. That’s another thing we have in common. I hate it when you’ve got someone in your face, you try to give someone a hint and they won’t leave, and then there’s that big awkward silence, you know!”—Donkey

“Oh! Oh pick me! Pick me! Me! Me!”—Donkey

“Please! Can I stay with you?”—Donkey

“What?” — Shrek

“Can I stay with you? Please.”—Donkey

“Of course!” — Shrek


“No.” — Shrek

“Can I stay with you?”—Donkey

“I like my privacy.” — Shrek

“Hi-ya!”—Princess Fiona

“Oh, wow! That was REALLY scary!”—Donkey

“looks up at farquaads castle ‘you think he’s compensating for something?” — Shrek

“Where are you going?”—Princess Fiona

“Well, I have to save my ass.” — Shrek

“They stink?”—Donkey

“Yes… no.” — Shrek

“They make you cry?”—Donkey

“No.” — Shrek

“If you leave them out in the sun, they turn brown and start sprouting little white hairs?”—Donkey

“Wow! Let’s do that again!”—Donkey

“No no no no no!” — Shrek

“Well– When one lives alone, uh, one has to learn these things in case there’s a– There’s an arrow in your butt!”—Princess Fiona

“Good morning. Um– how do you like your eggs?”—Princess Fiona

“Hey! I’m no one’s messenger boy, all right? I’m a delivery boy.” — Shrek

“Donkey, two things, okay? Shut. Up.” — Shrek

“Listen, little donkey. Take a look at me. What am I?” — Shrek

“Uh– Really tall?”—Donkey

“And then one time I ate some rotten berries. Man, there were some strong gases seepin’ outta my butt that day!”—Donkey

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