Most hilarious Joe Dirt Quotes

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If you are a great fan of joe dirt film then here are some best quotes from this film for you, you can look over these quotes and hope that it will great fun to you. You can enjoy these quotes all the day.

Joe Dirt is an American adventure comedy film Directed by Dennie Gordon and Produced by Robert Simonds. The film story Written by David Spade and Fred Wolf. Joe Dirt film cast by David Spade, Dennis Miller, Christopher Walken, Adam Beach, Brian Thompson, Brittany Daniel, Jaime Pressly, Erik Per Sullivan, and Kid Rock. The film was written by Spade and Fred Wolf, and produced by Robert Simonds.

The plot concerns a “white trash” young man, Joe Dirt, who at first seems to be a “loser”, a failure, an antihero. As he travels in search of his parents, his finer qualities are increasingly revealed. He ends up with a new “family” of close friends, people he has helped and who respect him.

The film release on April 11, 2001 and also a sequel film Joe Dirt 2: Beautiful Loser, release on July 16, 2015. The film was a modest financial success.


“Things are gonna happen for me. I’m Joe Dirt!”— Joe Dirt

“I’m a rocker, dude, through and through. Here’s my favorite bands: AC/DC, Van Halen, not Van Hagar, Skynyrd, Def Lep.”— Joe Dirt

“Life’s a garden. Dig it!”— Joe Dirt

“I’m new in town, kind a lonely, looking’ for my parents.”— Joe Dirt

“You, you like to see homos naked?”— Joe Dirt

“It puts the Joe Dirt in the hole.”— Joe Dirt

“Say it, don’t spray it brother. Dang!”— Joe Dirt

“Ya gotta keep on, keeping’ on.”— Joe Dirt

“Right on! You’re Joe Meteorite and I’m Joe Dirt.”— Joe Dirt

“You guys got something’ to say to me? Why don’t you say it in the microphone? I got a backup mic right here. Check one two, testing, testing. Yup, they both working and guess what? They don’t like no feedback, what’s up?”— Joe Dirt

“Now, this ain’t no flapjack. I’ll go real easy. I won’t look.”— Joe Dirt

“My name is Joe Dirté. I added an e to the end, because it sounds cool.”— Joe Dirt

“And at that moment I thought I might just lie there and never get up. I would just sit there and rot there, but then I looked up and saw the moon and got this weird feeling that Brandy was looking up at that same moon. Then I realized I had a home all along, in Silvertown.”— Joe Dirt

“There are three rules when dealing with a deadly crocodile. Rule number one, I’m number one. Rule number two, the croc’s number two.”— Joe Dirt

“You just said your sister was hot. What a freak. You’re going’ to hell, man, but it was worth it.”— Joe Dirt

“Luckily, my neck broke my fall.”— Joe Dirt

“You want to fight? Why don’t you stick your head up my butt and fight for air?”— Joe Dirt

“Why don’t you go practice falling’ down, I’ll be there in a minute?”— Joe Dirt

“I thought I had broken my ass bone!”— Joe Dirt

“I can see down your shirt!”— Joe Dirt

“I’m putting the lotion on the skin!”— Joe Dirt

“So, you’re gonna tell me that you don’t have no black cats, no Roman Candles, or screaming mimes?”— Joe Dirt

“Oh, come on, man. You got no lady fingers, fuzz bottles, snicker bombs, church burners, finger blasters, gut busters, zip pity do das, or crap flappers?”— Joe Dirt

 “Well that might be your problem, it’s not what you like, it’s the consumer.”— Joe Dirt

“Is that right? You think that’s queer? Is this queer?”— Joe Dirt

“They’re large and in charge and looking’ for chickees.”— Joe Dirt

“You know I’d love to beat your ass all up and down this place but I gotta go back to work.”— Joe Dirt

“People like that security guard. They don’t really mean what they say. They just got their own issues and what not. All’s I got to do is keep being’ a good person. No matter what, good things will come my way. Everything’s gonna happen for me, just so long as I never have no in my heart.”— Joe Dirt

“Yeah, you want a match? My face and your ass! How ’bout that friend? Huh? I mean, your ass and my face, what’s up?”— Joe Dirt

“Here we go, I’m a bit of a credophile, so don’t try this at home. This here’s Rocky, and he ain’t no puppy. Now, let’s see if Rocky’s got some cavities.”— Joe Dirt

“This mofo knows not to mess with Sir Joseph Dirt.”— Joe Dirt

“Nunamaker! Nunamaker! That’s what my sister said on the way to the Grand Canyon! My last name’s Dirt, her last name’s Nunamaker! That’s my parents’ last name!”— Joe Dirt

“I checked my list of Rambler Wagons, and there it was: Nunamaker. Baton Rouge, Louisiana. I was finally home.”— Joe Dirt

“Hey mister! You know the people who live here, Nunamaker?”— Joe Dirt

 “Yeah, man, that little boy, that’s me. My parents were-this was my home. I thought this was it this time.”— Joe Dirt

“Ya like to see homos naked?”— Joe Dirt

“Guy likes to see homos naked, that doesn’t help me.”— Joe Dirt

“Well, I was born without the top of my skull and I guess a little bit of my brains was showing’ and it was grossing’ everybody out so my mom put this wig on me to cover it up and then the bones grew together and it got all infused and entwined. I mean I don’t mean to get all scientific with you…”— Joe Dirt

“Why don’t you go practice falling’ down? I’ll be there in a minute.”— Joe Dirt

 “Yeah, it is. It came out of the sky.”— Joe Dirt

“No, that can’t be. That’s not what it is.”— Joe Dirt

“Uhhh, no, that’s a space peanut.”— Joe Dirt

“She’s your sister dude she’s gotta be and you made out with her man! What’s wrong with you, you pervert!”— Joe Dirt

“Well I didn’t know she was my sister when I kissed her, so it’s not my fault. And she’s one of the hottest girls on the planet.”— Joe Dirt

“I gotta tell her what happened, why I got weird. And for god sakes, I gotta treat her like a sister.”— Joe Dirt

“Does this look like a piece of crap to you? Like them spinning’ tires, do you?”— Joe Dirt

“If I told you that you had a beautiful body, would you hold it against me?”— Joe Dirt

“Well, I see you got those snakes and sparklers. But where’s the good stuff man?”— Joe Dirt

“Well, huh, might as, might as well ask why is a tree good? Why is the sunset good? Why are boobs good? Man, firecrackers, ya stick ’em in mailboxes, you drop ’em in toilets, shove ’em up bullfrogs’ asses.”— Joe Dirt

“Buffalo Bob’s kind of a weird name, but people say Joe Dirt’s a weird name and how cool am I?”— Joe Dirt

“Hey to tell you the truth brother, between you and me, that thing with the dog is coming’ off a little fruit-y. I mean that’s just me talking’. Hey, where’s my supplies?”— Joe Dirt

“Wee, Auto Trader. Ooh August, I don’t get this one.”— Joe Dirt

“You’re saying you have no black cats, Roman candles or screaming memes? Come on. You don’t get no ladyfingers, buzz bottles, snicker bombs… church burners, finger blasters, gut busters, zippedy-doodas, crap flappers?”— Joe Dirt

“I – I – I don’t mean to interrupt your clown pitch there, but – but how exactly do you not go right back to the place where you saw me?”— Joe Dirt

“I’m not talking about a pose-trac; I’m talking about me. How long did you look for me before you gave up? How lone were you riding in that car before you realized I wasn’t in it? Exactly how long?”— Joe Dirt

“You guys got something’ to say to me? Why don’t you say it in the microphone? I got a backup mike right here. Check one two, testing, testing. Yup, they both working’ and guess what? They don’t like no feedback, what’s up?”— Joe Dirt

“Well today I’m gonna be pickin’ up my Hemi Roadrunner. That’s right, I said Hemi.”— Joe Dirt

“But I’m pickin’ it up this afternoon. I might need a pretty little lady to sit in the front seat while I break her in. The car I mean. So, what do you say?”— Joe Dirt

“And you’ll be sticking your head out the window and check out chic dogs saying ‘what’s up, baby?”— Joe Dirt

“Why did you do that to me? I was only eight years old – I was just a little kid. Do you have any idea what it’s like to be a kid and have nobody around to talk to? No one that cares if you’re alive or dead? Every day you just think you’re worthless and there’s a void in your life?”— Joe Dirt

“And I don’t want to see you for another 25 years!”— Joe Dirt

“People say Joe Dirt’s a weird name, and how cool am I.”— Joe Dirt

“The guy doing the police sketches thought I was messing with him because my dad came out looking like Father Time and my mom came out looking too butch and looking way too much like Richard Ramirez. You know the Night Stalker, remember him?”— Joe Dirt


“Hey! How exactly is a rainbow made? How exactly does a sun set? How exactly does a pose-trac rear-end on a Plymouth work? It just does.”— Joe’s Dad

“All right! We didn’t lose him; we just left him. So what? The dude’s doing fine! Look at him!”— Joe’s Dad

“Lighten up, buddy.”— Joe’s Dad

“That’s right, boy.”— Joe’s Dad

“Move over a bit!”— Joe’s Dad

“Hey! What the hell are you doing?”— Joe’s Dad

“Hey, you’re grounded! Where are you all going? Hey, come on! You don’t have to follow him just because he’s going!”— Joe’s Dad


“It just does.”— Joe’s Mom

“He looks good.”— Joe’s Mom

“Oh, come on, honey.”— Joe’s Mom

“Lose that frown. When you’re down, stare at a clown.”— Joe’s Mom

“Hey, sit down! Sit down! You’re blocking the cameras! The cameras can’t see!”— Joe’s Mom

“My God! Oh, my clowns! Look at my clowns! I wish he never found us! Look what he did to my children! Oh, no! Hey! Hey, TV people! Hey, TV people!”— Joe’s Mom


“Now, you’re telling me you were so ingrained with white trash DNA, your facial hair actually grows in on its own all white trashy like that?”— Zander Kelly

“What’s the story here? I’m a white trash idiot – the end.”— Zander Kelly

“Bob Seger? Come on, back then you were listening’ to Leif Garrett. It was probably more like this…”— Zander Kelly

“God Almighty, manna from inbred heaven. Hey freak boy: 1976 called, it wants its hairstyle back.”— Zander Kelly

“Why have you got a wig? You doing stunt work for Billy Ray Cyrus?”— Zander Kelly

“Don’t you get it? Stinky stuff is your milieu. Okay? This is your deal. You are an underachievement nexus of the universe.”— Zander Kelly


“It does what it’s told.”— Buffalo Bob

“It puts the lotion on its skin! You have no idea what kind of hell I can bring you!”— Buffalo Bob

“It rubs the lotion on its skin or else it gets the hose again.”— Buffalo Bob


“Good stuff? This is the good stuff, snakes and sparklers.”— Kicking Wing

“Why is that good?”— Kicking Wing

“No… because snakes and sparklers are the only ones I like.”— Kicking Wing


“I’m done with that fart. You want that?”— ZEKE

“Yeah, you probably like JR you queer. I saw your bumper sticker: Cowboy’s Butts Drive Zeke: You want to back that up?”— ZEKE

“That’s it. You and me, let’s go.”— ZEKE


“You all right Dirt?”— Robby

“No, you’re not.”— Robby

“Least I know my car will blow his off the road!”— Robby

“Let’s rock, Dirt-boy!”— Robby


“They move! ’bout… 15 yea’ ago. Had an ill’ boy. Had same kind a haircut you got nan.”— Old Cajun Man

“God da’, you outta date boy.”— Old Cajun Man

“Nah, home is where you make it.”— Old Cajun Man

“Home is where you make it.”— Old Cajun Man

“No no no no. Home is where you make it. Home, where you make it.”— Old Cajun Man

“Everybody knows dat. Goddamn, boy.”— Old Cajun Man

“Home is where you make it.”— Old Cajun Man


“Well I’m sure it did but it ain’t no meteor. It’s a big frozen chunk o’ shit.”— Meteor Bert

“Oh yeah, see them airplanes they dump their toilets 36,000 feet. The stuff freezes and falls to earth. We call ’em Boeing bombs.”— Meteor Bert

“Oh, afraid so. See that peanut? Dead giveaway.”— Meteor Bert

“No, afraid not. That just a big ol’ frozen chunk of poopy.”— Meteor Bert


“Don’t bother, just drive this piece of crap off a cliff. Do us all a favor.”— Security Guard

“Don’t try and church it up son. Don’t you mean Joe Dirt? Naming you that your father must’ve really hated you.”— Security Guard

“I got a good name for this car, rusty.”— Security Guard

“You suck!”— Security Guard


“Wow. A Hemi. Balls to the Wall.”— Jill

“That’s a big ten-four.”— Jill

“Sure will. Do you want to g

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